This was when?
A couple weeks ago.
You, too, or just the den?
Any physical abuse in the marriage?
Oh, no, no. Not in… no. No, you don’t need to write that down. It was an accident. Is that what women say? I get a lot of clumsy women.
That’s not what this was. It was a car accident. As much my fault as Richie’s. So you can cross that out.
How about I do my part, you do yours?
I don’t want you suggesting in your records that I have an abusive husband. He abuses drugs. That’s different. I want it to be about what it is.
Drug abuse. And alcohol. Which for an addict with a history of… Accidents.
Is this supposed to feel like a cross-examination?
It’s not supposed to feel very nice. And if someone told you it would, they misled you. You expect sole custody of the children?
No. He’s a good father. He’s never exposed the kids to…
I thought your son found him drunk on the couch with the rectangular guitar.
Because he’s a good father?
Sylvia! Invoice the hour.
You want the questionnaire?
Sure, what the hell? You bring a checkbook with you, Mrs. Finestra?
Great. There’s a 150 charge for this meeting and Sylvia will give you a questionnaire. You can fill it out at home.
Your secretary said on the phone that there would be no charge for the initial consultation.
Well, she was mistaken.
What if I hadn’t brought my checkbook?
Lucky for me you did.
If you think this somehow makes me more comfortable with the idea of you handling my divorce…
You’re not getting divorced, Mrs. Finestra. You just wasted an hour of my time generating a card to play in the next fight you have with your husband.
That is the most condescending thing anyone…
You love your husband, sweetheart. I wish you didn’t. He sounds like a real asshole. If I’m wrong, fill out the questionnaire and we’ll discuss it the next time we meet. $150. My last name is Gross. Spelled like “Wow, that was really gross.”